You Begin to Tire

My vocabulary did this to me
-Jack Spicer

Having reached a certain age, the logical outcome of having lasted,
Of having lived, one might say, to a point, life's normal shape
When it's lived to the point
Of having done with
The things left undone, with a full life left
To all the others who will have done them,
You begin to tire…of it all in a sense having come to this,
You begin to tire…of it all one might say in a sense,
You begin to tire…not to the point you were
When you were something
To be tired of, but more to the point you are
When having tired, you have only that.
Whatever else it is you have, it's clear in this case that you've tired of having.
There isn't a need for the world per se. You've contracted a case of the world per se.
As it is, as the case is, which is never so much what the case is,
Which is never so much as such, as it is when it isn't as such,
You are really and truly tired, don't tell me I know
What proving this comes to, when all that you feel is proof
Of a case that's exhausting itself as proof.
As it does, as it does so, doing violence to the fact that it does so,
Doing something so true to itself, that it does what it doesn't do itself,
You begin to sound somewhat removed, don't tell me I know
What a distance you've come to, when all that you say is true
To a case once removed from itself as true.
As the candles in your voice grow dim, and the light that you've made of yourself
Starts mouthing the words that burned
To dim them, and the violence
Simply tapers off, toward the object you were
By being subject to its violence,
You find yourself strangely at ease, don't ask me to say
What it is life has come to, when everyone's cry is a sign
And yours alone is the cry of a sign.
Whatever else a cry might say, it's clear in this case it's not frightened of saying.
This isn't a time for the words per se. This is a time for the words per se.
You are tired…did I tell you how it feels getting used to this?
You are tired…did I tell you it gets used to itself?
You are tired…not to the depth you were
When your fears had cause
For fearing this, but more to the depth you are
When as it deepens, they have cause for depth.

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